Swing It Low
Some of You say my blog is not detailed enough. I don’t talk much about my work, neither people I meet. Whatever the intitial aim is, if you start writing a blog, there is a chance that people might read it. People you meet on a daily basis and people you hope you’ll meet (again). Even if you start it as a game, after you write down the first word you already feel the responsibility, the responsibility that comes along with any of your actions in life.
Well, in the beginning I had this idea to spend a year describing the weather and traffic conditions of Amsterdam for You, which don’t sound very interesting topics, but that’s exactly why I was thinking about it… With time, these regular writing sessions seem to turn into a symbolic umbilical cord in my life. An umbilical cord that ties me to You, to my home, and sometimes I feel this is the only way I can connect to the real world exactly the way I want to, where there is no pressure and tension, only me and the things that want to be written down. For me, in this elevated conversation with the world, there is no place for more details, more names. And I think this way there might be more place for real events in real life and more place for your imagination, as well.
Nowadays I have this thought in my mind and I cannot get rid of the idea that big changes in life depend on the smallest steps you take. I’m sure there is a saying with this meaning. Anyway, this idea is freaking me out. If I think of the fact that any of my decisions could be ’The Step’ without even realizing it, I’m slowing down with whatever I’m doing and trying to concentrate on my daily routine. I’m telling myself that if I keep doing what I did the day before, things might just stay the same.
Waking up at 7.50 am, spending 8 hours at work, going to run, having dinner, going to bed at 12 pm - the constant repetition of my life. If it weren’t like that, it would be another kind of calculable, repetitive pattern. A pattern that helps to keep my imaginary ’self’ in one piece, the one that can be easily damaged by the smallest external disturbance. And at the same time what makes me get out of the bed every morning and makes me go all day long is the desire for change, and the hope that the small step my life depends on will be taken today.
Well, in the beginning I had this idea to spend a year describing the weather and traffic conditions of Amsterdam for You, which don’t sound very interesting topics, but that’s exactly why I was thinking about it… With time, these regular writing sessions seem to turn into a symbolic umbilical cord in my life. An umbilical cord that ties me to You, to my home, and sometimes I feel this is the only way I can connect to the real world exactly the way I want to, where there is no pressure and tension, only me and the things that want to be written down. For me, in this elevated conversation with the world, there is no place for more details, more names. And I think this way there might be more place for real events in real life and more place for your imagination, as well.
Nowadays I have this thought in my mind and I cannot get rid of the idea that big changes in life depend on the smallest steps you take. I’m sure there is a saying with this meaning. Anyway, this idea is freaking me out. If I think of the fact that any of my decisions could be ’The Step’ without even realizing it, I’m slowing down with whatever I’m doing and trying to concentrate on my daily routine. I’m telling myself that if I keep doing what I did the day before, things might just stay the same.
Waking up at 7.50 am, spending 8 hours at work, going to run, having dinner, going to bed at 12 pm - the constant repetition of my life. If it weren’t like that, it would be another kind of calculable, repetitive pattern. A pattern that helps to keep my imaginary ’self’ in one piece, the one that can be easily damaged by the smallest external disturbance. And at the same time what makes me get out of the bed every morning and makes me go all day long is the desire for change, and the hope that the small step my life depends on will be taken today.
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