In The Flowers

I’m in love again. The moment I left Paradiso, the feeling caught me again and I knew it before I could put it into words. The further I was walking from the place, the clearer the revelation became. I was part of something divine, something unreachable last night and it is still echoing inside of me relentlessly. I cannot resist to temptation, I keep pushing the 'play' button again and again. I have to live through this unique experience uncountable times. Is it for the better understanding or is it just enjoying the incomprehensible? - I don’t know. (Why are we always looking for a definite answer for every question, anyway?) My only answer is the index finger on the ’play’ button.

There is not much to say. It was an ordinary concert with all the ordinary accessories: a glass of beer in the hand, tiptoeing behind broad Dutch shoulders just to get a hint from whom this music emerges. Noises, sounds and voices in a bizarre mixture resulting perfect harmony. Something beautifully fucked up. You told me you would like to hear this in a forest or beside the campfire. You were right. I gathered my confidence to close my eyes. And there it was. In the shades of Dutch shoulders I saw that campfire in the forest you were talking about. To be honest, I can still see it.

Music is love. Before you see music in live, you are only an admirer of music. You hear a melody once or twice or maybe hundred times when you start to like it. You might listen to it another hundred times after, but the real magic happens in live. With strangers around you who are drinking beer, enjoying themselves desperately, and they are standing in your view. But music is there and when music is being made, love is being made. If it is an overwhelming experience, it stays with you for days, months or years. You cannot get it out of your head and this ethereal substance becomes a part of you.

Well, I push the ’play’ button again. I’m trying to live through that unique experience uncountable times. I’m in love. I’m looking at your fading picture with relief.

Comments

Kővári Krisztina said…
„Do you think music has the power to change people? As though you listen to a piece and go through some major change inside?”
Oshima nodded. „Sure, that can happen. We have an experience – like a chemical reaction – that transforms something inside us. When we examine ourselves later on, we discover that all the standards we’ve lived by have shot up another notch and the world’s opened up in unexpected ways. Yes, I’ve had that experience. Not often, but it has happened. It’s like falling in love.” (Murakami, Kafka on the Shore)
June 7, 2009 at 6:14 PM
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