Nagymama

London utcáin sétálok, megyek,
Velem barátok, sokféle életek.
A nagymamám valahol
Hideg ágyon fekve rostokol.
Szép ruhában várja a véget
Míg a világ engem
Odabent éget.

Metróra szállunk.
Durva férfihang üvölt
'Mind the gap'
E súlyos ürességben félek.
Ez vagyok én: Valami. Semmi?
Préselődő emberek között
Nyolcvanhat évet...
Hogy bír ki ennyit egy lélek?
A dobos tortát már nem küldi senki
Születésnapom így értelmét veszti.
A nagymamám szép ruhában...
Mozgólépcső helyett
Őt majd élő kezek
Engedik a mélybe, a sírba,
Sosemvolt biztos nyugalomba.

Végesített élet...
Miért lepődünk meg, ha mindig így megy?
Könnyeim helyén mosoly
Mert nyolcvanhat évig tartó pokol
Helyett gyerekek, unokák, dédunokák
Ölelik az illatot, a sok emléket
A parfét, a kelt gombócot,
- amilyet csak ő tudott, -
A porcukros epret, a kerti kádat,
A házi krémest, a sok finom falat...
A romok közötti kaland
Volt rólam utolsó képe.

A teraszon nejlon otthonkában
Hangosan kiáltott
Ha uzsonnát hozott
Színes tányérokon.
Ilyenkor a játék néhány percre megállt.

Elment tőlünk, azt mondják.
Most mégis nehéz...
Hiába vigasz a sok emlék,
Mert mikor elment, vele ment, tudom
Az a gyerek is, ki voltam egykoron.

(2011. november 11.)

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