Onderweg
I haven’t spent any time behind my desk this week. You might think I’m not doing my job properly. Not as I promised it to myself. It’s true. One of the biggest challenges of my life nowadays is to find the balance between the inside and the outside world. Now that I know how and why it is good to be alone, it’s very tempting to stay inside as much as possible and forget about the rest. Of course, it hardly happens. I have responsibilities and there are people around me who never let me completely alone.
Life is about interaction, anyway. When I go outside to meet you, I’m testing the inner peace I created inside of me. I’m taking a chance and I’m getting into interaction with you. I’m watching and listening to you. I’m trying to figure out where you are going. I’m trying to figure out where I want to go. Will you change my way somehow? I think you will. There is a lesson behind every encounter. It’s only question of time to learn what the lesson is about.
There are some pictures stuck in my head from this week. There is an old man, around 60, with dense grey hair, wearing striped shirt. He’s making an effort to climb onto the stage. A helping hand is pulling him up. He looks cheerful and satisfied. Without being ashamed of himself, he’s starting to dance right in front of the DJ counter with all the young people around. The fast paced music seems to accalerate, flashing lights are playing on his figure. I’m watching him and I’m amazed. No matter how tired I am, I’m trying to dance as crazy as he does. He’s dancing with eyes closed. I’m afraid he’s going to fall down. I’m afraid he’s going to die. Now he’s dancing beside me, I can smell his old flesh and sweat. It reminds me of my grandmother. I want to embrace him. I want to embrace the wisdom of old people.
Another picture. A photo of a seven year old boy with brown curly hair, with a huge smile on his face. I’m trying to imagine the situation when the picture was taken. I see the friendly photographer telling him to draw himself up, raise his head, do not blink, but smile. Apparently, the little boy is enjoying all the attention around him. He’s following the instructions and gives a perfect, innocent smile. It’s hard to believe that this picture stays now on his funeral note. I know it’s terribly sad. The saddest thing that can ever happen. And such things still happen. Inner peace is being tested all the time. There is so much to learn to live (and to die) in harmony.
Life is about interaction, anyway. When I go outside to meet you, I’m testing the inner peace I created inside of me. I’m taking a chance and I’m getting into interaction with you. I’m watching and listening to you. I’m trying to figure out where you are going. I’m trying to figure out where I want to go. Will you change my way somehow? I think you will. There is a lesson behind every encounter. It’s only question of time to learn what the lesson is about.
There are some pictures stuck in my head from this week. There is an old man, around 60, with dense grey hair, wearing striped shirt. He’s making an effort to climb onto the stage. A helping hand is pulling him up. He looks cheerful and satisfied. Without being ashamed of himself, he’s starting to dance right in front of the DJ counter with all the young people around. The fast paced music seems to accalerate, flashing lights are playing on his figure. I’m watching him and I’m amazed. No matter how tired I am, I’m trying to dance as crazy as he does. He’s dancing with eyes closed. I’m afraid he’s going to fall down. I’m afraid he’s going to die. Now he’s dancing beside me, I can smell his old flesh and sweat. It reminds me of my grandmother. I want to embrace him. I want to embrace the wisdom of old people.
Another picture. A photo of a seven year old boy with brown curly hair, with a huge smile on his face. I’m trying to imagine the situation when the picture was taken. I see the friendly photographer telling him to draw himself up, raise his head, do not blink, but smile. Apparently, the little boy is enjoying all the attention around him. He’s following the instructions and gives a perfect, innocent smile. It’s hard to believe that this picture stays now on his funeral note. I know it’s terribly sad. The saddest thing that can ever happen. And such things still happen. Inner peace is being tested all the time. There is so much to learn to live (and to die) in harmony.
Comments